


For A Minute I Was Stone Cold Sober

by beautifuldaydreams



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Christmas, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gen, M/M, SSS2016
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 21:52:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9092149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beautifuldaydreams/pseuds/beautifuldaydreams
Summary: University was hard, Natasha thought. Not the work, of course, work was easy, but people were hard. Adulting was hard. Dealing with assholes was hard. Dealing with idiotic best friends was hard.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my StuckySecretSanta gift for [pocketbucky](pocketbucky.tumblr.com), I hope you like it!

University was hard, Natasha thought. Not the work of course, work was easy, but people were hard. Adulting was hard. Dealing with assholes was hard. Dealing with idiotic best friends was hard.

A year ago, sharing a house with Steve, Bucky, Clint, Sam and Wanda, with Thor, Jane, Pepper, Tony, Bruce and Vision two doors down, seemed like a good idea. It was impossible to say how the group had met, as it was long and complicated- something to do with and exploding experiment (Tony and Bruce), a military style fitness class (Steve and Sam), several shared classes, friends of friends, and an obsession with birds (Sam and Clint), but somehow their bunch of bird freaks, mad scientists, future CEOs and childhood best friends had stuck together with not so much glue, as concrete.

It wasn’t that now it seemed like a bad idea, it just meant that, now everyone spent more time together, the minutiae of each relationship was more obvious, and everyone knew exactly how to wind everyone else up. And they did it regularly. But somehow they were all better friends than ever.

There was a knock on her door. Natasha sat up. One of the perks of being friends with a millionaire’s son was that Howard Stark had bought two huge and beautiful six bedroom houses for his son and his friends to have, so not only was her room big and well furnished, but she also didn’t have to share it.

“What?”

Steve poked his head around the door.

“I’m just going to the shop for snacks for the film night later. Any orders?”

Oh God. Film night. She’d forgotten.

“Uh, something sour. Don’t care what. Also ice cream. Salted caramel if they have it.”

Steve nodded, then retreated, shutting the door behind him. Natasha could hear him knocking on the next door- Bucky’s room.

“I SWEAR TO GOD. BARTON IF THIS IS… oh, sorry Stevie, the human disaster was trying to steal my Nerf gun again. What can I do for you?”

Even through the wall, Natasha could hear the full force of the legendary Barnes charm.

“’S all right, Buck, I was just going to the shop. Or do you want me to get anything particular for later? Or you could come with me if you want to.”

She didn’t need x-ray vision to know that Steve was ducking his head, looking at Bucky through his stupidly long princess lashes (her, jealous? Never!) while the latter was leant against the door frame, arms folded, smiling in that way that had most of the girls and several of the guys on campus falling over themselves to smile back.

“Nah. I’ll come with you, punk. In case you need a hand carrying the stuff back.”

“That was one time, jerk. Come on, or we won’t get back in time.”

“We have two hours, Steve.”

“Yes, and you will spend at least an hour and a half flirting with the cashier, who after all of that will be not only straight, but married and expecting a baby, even though he looks twenty-five. I know you. Hurry up, I’ll meet you at the door in ten, I still need to ask Sam and Clint what they want.”

Steve’s voice faded away as he walked down the stairs to find the Bird Bros. There was a few seconds silence, then Bucky’s door shut.

Natasha lay back down.

There it was. The idiotic friends. Before moving in together at the beginning of the academic year, the closeness between Steve and Bucky had been accepted as the closeness between childhood best friends, people who had basically lived together ever since the age of seven. But now it became apparent to all but them that there was something else there. If the casual touches that seemed longer than necessary and the watching when they assumed no one else could see didn’t clue them in, then the subtle flirting, obvious hyperawareness of each other and clear jealousy when one of them brought someone else home would have.

She had once, about a month ago, raised the subject with Bucky, but it had got her nowhere. All that had changed was that Bucky would occasionally stop gazing lovingly at Steve to shoot her a glare that would surely cause anyone else to vaporise. They were too stuck in their thinking, which was, on Bucky’s side anyway, “I’d rather not know for definite than ruin what we have, because he definitely doesn’t like me that way”.

Somewhere downstairs a door banged and loud voices echoed up the stairwell. People had arrived.

Natasha rolled gracelessly off her bed, only just saving herself from an ignominious landing on the floor. Several members of the group were convinced that she was a secret ninja assassin, but they didn’t need to know that when she wasn’t concentrating or fully awake she had all the grace and elegance of a newborn fawn trying to make its first steps.

She had been lying there for so long that it was now getting dark outside, and the room had grown dim. She had better get a move on if she wanted a seat on the couch for the film

~*~

Downstairs, chaos reigned supreme.

As it was the last of their weekly film nights before the Christmas break, everyone had made the effort, to be there, and consequently there was a severe shortage of space and December deadlines had caused tempers to run high.

Steve was trying to make popcorn in the unreasonably high tech microwave, but by the time he’d made one bowl, Clint had already eaten the previously full bowl, causing Steve to chase him madly around the room to relieve him of the fresh bowl.

Tony had apparently been out voted on film choice, and in his own true style, didn’t accept it, so Bucky was balanced on the back of the couch holding the remote out of Tony’s reach as the shorter man tried desperately to reclaim it.

Thor had broken yet another plate (why did they not buy plastic ones for him?) and was apologising loudly to anyone who could hear him (that is to say everyone) while his girlfriend Jane tried to clean up the mess. Tried being the operative word.

Sam, Pepper and Bruce were trying to have a conversation, while ducking random limbs and flying popcorn with the practised ease of the longsuffering ‘mum friends’.

And who knew where Wanda and Vision had gone, probably to a quieter room to discuss some unheard of band or book.

Natasha stepped through the door, neatly dodged Clint and stole a handful of popcorn, then stepped back only just in time before Steve thundered past in pursuit, but he couldn’t turn quick enough to avoid Tony, who fell into Bucky, who was only precariously balanced on the couch back as it was, and everything went from bad to worse in the space of roughly 2.5 seconds.

Soon, after two arguments about the choice of film, one popcorn fight, one person being shoved off the couch (Clint) and one person being banished to the hard chair for pushing someone off the couch (Tony), everyone settled down to watch Love Actually (no one had to know it was the third time Natasha had watched it this week).

As she settled down against the arm of the couch and shoved her feet into Clint’s lap, watching couple after couple fall in love, Natasha let her mind wander back to the Steve and Bucky Question. It was obvious to anyone who looked at them now, relaxed on the beanbags on the floor, Bucky’s head resting on Steve’s thigh as his friend combed gentle fingers through his hair, the they were more than friends, but neither of them could see that. Honestly, the sexual tension was starting to get distracting, even for her. Something had to be done.

During the mid-movie break to allow for people with ridiculously long legs to rearrange themselves in a more comfortable position, and for Tony to get another drink, Natasha dragged Sam and Clint into the kitchen.

“Ok, this is it. I’m holding a council of war.”

Sam looked sceptical. Clint looked confused.

“Why? Who are we declaring war on? I know Tony pushed me off the couch, but really, ‘Tash, you don’t have to go to war over that.”

“No, I’m declaring war on the unresolved sexual tension between Steve and Bucky, it’s killing me. I’m too busy to deal with them, and the only pining I want in this house is the Christmas tree.”

Sam sighed and crossed his arms.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Nat. if they’re ready to get together then they will, I don’t think we should interfere. They need to work this out for themselves.”

Natasha glared at him.

“I am not asking your permission, bird boy, I will do this with your help or without it. Now, will you help me?”

“Ok, but on our head be it if this backfires and we have to reshuffle the houses.”

“Good. Clint? Clint?!”

Clint’s head reappeared from inside the cupboard.

“Sorry, I wanted coffee, and Steve hid it on Pepper’s orders before Tony arrived and now I can’t find it. What did you say?”

“Are you going to help us or not?”

“Oh. Yeah, sure, why not.”

There was a pause.

“What am I helping you with exactly?”

~*~

Everything was in place.

The mistletoe (well what else were they going to do, it was Christmas) had been located, Clint and Sam were on distraction duty, and the chair was in position behind the couch occupied by their unsuspecting victims.

On Natasha’s signal, Clint and Sam collapsed on top of the two boys already on the couch, yelling “bundle!” causing every other male in the room to leap on to the pile. In the ensuing chaos, Natasha was able to pin the mistletoe to the ceiling. Then she jumped down and pinched the leg that she assumed belonged to Clint, who nudged Tony, and pointed at the ceiling, then at Steve and Bucky, trapped under the pile. The word quickly spread, and soon everyone had formed a giggling circle around the unsuspecting couple.

Steve was the first to notice.

“What is it, guys?”

They all pointed up, and Steve stilled.

Bucky, his attention caught by Steve’s reaction also looked up.

“Come on, guys! Seriously?”

Natasha nodded.

Bucky tried to squirm away, but she pinned him down with a glare.

“Are you scared, Barnes?”

That did the trick. Neither had ever been one to back down from a challenge.

Steve grabbed Bucky by the chin, and drew him in for a chaste kiss. Bucky froze for a second, then melted into it, but by that time, it was over, and Steve was on his feet, claiming to be ready for bed, and it wasn’t long before the room was empty.

~*~

Natasha hadn’t been in her room long before there came a knock at her door and Bucky strode in without being asked and dropped down on the bed next to where she sat cross legged. He ran a hand through his hair, which was out of its usual bun and sighed loudly before dropping his head into her lap. But he didn’t stay there long, and soon leapt back up to sit facing her.

The laugh he gave was short and bitter.

“Oh, God, Nat, what is wrong with me? One little kiss and I feel like I’ve got ants crawling all over me, I can’t sit still, I can’t concentrate, it’s l like being a teenager all over again except I don’t have a sociably acceptable reason to be!”

He sighed again.

“What do I do, Nat? You know how I feel, I’ve told you more about this than I’ve ever told anyone and I really really need help.”

He looked so pathetic that even though he was being an idiot she still felt sorry for him.

“Well, firstly, why are you asking the girl with no dating experience for relationship advice? Secondly, just tell him how you feel, then when he says he loves you too, you can kiss him and do whatever disgusting things you weird people do with your sexual attractions and stuff, but please, make sure I’m out before you start doing anything. I do not want to hear that.”

Bucky was bouncing around again.

“But he doesn’t love me, not like that! Did you see his face earlier? And he couldn’t even look me in the eye! And before you say ‘just tell him anyway’, the answer is no, I am not risking a fifteen-year-old friendship just for me to get something out of my system.”

Back to this old chestnut.

“Look, if you know what my advice is, then why did you come? I think you know that you have to tell him, but you just wanted me to talk you out of it, so off you go, get some sleep. You have an important conversation to have in the morning, and we’re going to the Drama Society’s big Christmas party tomorrow night. Good night, loverboy. Turn the light off on your way out.”

And with that she rolled over and pretended to ignore him, until he sighed and left.

Tomorrow was going to be interesting.

~*~

As it turned out, most of tomorrow was highly uneventful.

Everyone was preparing for Christmas, and those that had families to go to were packing up to leave the next morning, so Natasha barely saw anyone except Clint and Bruce, who popped their heads around the door to request her superior wrapping skills.

Everything was quiet.

That turned out to be the calm before the storm.

~*~

The Drama Society Christmas party was one of the most highly anticipated events of the year because they spared no expense when it came to drinks as the drama kids were very good at partying.

When the group arrived to the club where it was taking place, it already looked packed out with students in varying states of tipsiness. They wound their way down the staircase to the basement dance floor, watching the lights and shadows play on the walls as they pushed past the crowds.

Natasha stuck close to Bucky. As an asexual woman, Natasha found that there was nothing better than having a gay friend in a club situation, as you could use each other to deter girls/anyone. Natasha was also an excellent wing woman.

But this time she wasn’t having to stop girls from attacking Bucky, but stop Bucky from attacking a girl.

~*~

They had been dancing for about an hour. Neither of them were drunk, just pleasantly buzzed, and they had lost most of the group a long time ago, when Tony shouted something about shots to Clint, and they had raced off, Pepper and Bruce hot on their heels, probably in a hopeless attempt to stop them. The only friends they could see where Sam and Steve, who were a short distance away. Sam was chatting up a girl with dark hair, Steve stood by, attention split by the conversation and trying (and failing) not to watch Bucky as he danced.

It was disgusting how in love they were; God only knew how they weren’t together already.

She dragged Bucky down so that she could shout in his ear:

“I’m going to get a drink- do you want one?”

He nodded and gestured that he would follow her.

The bar area wasn’t much quieter, but they managed to find a corner that was quieter and where they could keep an eye on Sam and Steve.

Sam had managed to talk the girl into dancing with him (although if you could call that dancing, Natasha wasn’t sure. It looked more like clothed, vertical sex. Not that she knew much.) though Steve hadn’t noticed, he was far too busy singing along to the song that was playing, probably far too loud and out of tune, but no one would be able to hear him anyway.

That was when it started to go wrong.

A girl came up to Steve, obviously with the intent to dance with him. She was pretty, Natasha supposed, but Steve obviously wasn’t interested. Unfortunately, she didn’t seem to get the memo. Steve looked around for Sam, to back him up, to distract the girl, but she used the momentary distraction to get right up in his space and get her hands under his shirt.

At this point, Bucky turned around from the bar and saw the girl and the panicked look on Steve’s face. It was time for the murder face to come out.

He strode across the dance floor towards them, Natasha struggling to keep up, as her smaller frame was more easily pushed around by the drunk dancers. Bucky shoved the girl aside, none to gently either, and began shouting at her. What he said exactly was lost over the music, but it was something along the lines of “get some respect and learn to take no for an answer”. Except in much more colourful language.

Steve tried to interrupt again and again, but was ignored, until he physically dragged Bucky around to face him.

At which point, Natasha felt that it was her civic duty to get them out of there, for safety reasons (they both had a tendency to get physical when angry with each other, and woe betide anyone caught in the middle…). She caught them both by their sleeves and dragged them across the dance floor, up the stairs, and out the back door.

Then she turned to face them.

“If you’re going to rip each other apart, then please do it here, and have it done before everyone else is ready to go home, because I refuse to deal with you until you’re agreed. Ok?”

They didn’t take their eyes off each other, but nodded all the same.

“Right then, I’ll leave you too it.”

She went back inside and shut the door. She could hear them yelling at each other for about five minutes, but there were no crashes, suggesting that things had been thrown, which was a good sign.

Then it got very quiet. Ok, that was unusual.

She opened the door and peeped around.

Maybe yesterday’s plan had worked after all…

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not that happy with the ending, and I will probably edit it at some point when I have more time, as this is already late! I really enjoyed writing this so I might add a second chapter, maybe from someone else's POV, I don't know. What do you think? I don't usually write from Natasha's perspective, but I really enjoyed it!
> 
> I don't know where this is set, it's kind of in the UK, as I am at uni there now, but it could be most places really.   
> The relationship between Natasha and Bucky is based on my relationships with two of my friends, one who often needs someone to talk to about her relationships (and she chooses to come to the one with no relationship experience???), and one who is possibly the gayest man I have ever met, and I can honestly say that when it says "As an asexual woman, Natasha found that there was nothing better than having a gay friend in a club situation" this is 100% my experience. Just a tip for any aces out there.  
> The club is also semi based on my favourite club.
> 
> As usual you can find me on tumblr [here](a-single-dream-is.tumblr.com) and while you're there, go follow [pocketbucky](pocketbucky.tumblr.com) too!


End file.
